Reverent Ramblings

If at First...

2010-07-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, I entered a whole new stage of life. Retirement was a choice I made when I saw that other "constants" in my world were shifting. I looked at where I was, and where I thought that path was headed, and decided that it was time to take a fresh look at things. After 41 years as a United Methodist clergyman, it seemed that I needed just to be me for a while.

From the time I made the decision to retire until June 30, my focus was fixed on the process of letting go and getting ready to move on. Some things got shelved for a while as I attended to matters that were, at least on the surface, more pressing. That included this space. Today, I decided I needed to take another look at blogging and see if it fit into the direction I am now going.

For the time being I will try to keep this goiong (or try to revive it). Whether there is anyone who will find it or stumble upon it, I do not know. If there are those who do, I hope my random musings may be of some use to you in your own rambling through life.

On the Way Again

2010-02-13T09:57:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday, our son proposed to his girlfriend, and she accepted. It was a day of joy that was shared with their families and friends who joined them for a celebration party in our church's fellowship hall. They have already set a fall date for their wedding, and we are excited about this opportunity for our family to join together in a day of loving joy.

Also last Sunday, we announced duirng our worship service who will be appointed to serve as the church's pastor following my retirement at the end of June. It had been less than a month since I told the congregation my plans, and I'm not sure I was completely ready for the announcement of a replacement. On the other hand, it is good to be able to assure the church family that they will have good spiritual leadership going forward. Between now and July 1st, we will spend some time giving thanks for the ministry we have shared over the past nine years as well as supporting each other in the transition to the next stage of our journeys in life.

In some ways, every day is a transition from what has been to what now is and a step toward what will be. We are always on the move in life, even when we are unaware that our journey is moving on. I've always been partial to our Methodist notion that we are going on to perfection; because it reminds me that, while I have not yet arrived, I am on the way. I remember Cher accepting the Academy Award for her performance in Moonstruck talking about her mother wanting her to be somebody. She said, "I don't think this means that I am somebody, but I guess I'm on my way."

It helps me to know that I am guided on my way by the gracious Spirit of a patient and merciful God as well as human companions who encourage and challenge me all along that way. The Scriptures tell us that "we are God’s children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed. What we do know is this: when he is revealed, we will be like him, for we will see him as he is. (I John 3:2, New Revised Standard Version)"

In faith, we can look forward to the place where each transition leads us; because wherever we are, God is our constant companion.

The Snow Lay on the Ground

2010-01-04T10:48:00.000-08:00

According to the Weather Channel, Burlington, Vermont set a record for snowfall this past weekend, measuring 32.9 inches. Outside my house, there's not quite that depth of snow, but there is a lot of the white stuff there. It started snowing New Year's Eve and continued on until last night. In all of my years, I have never seen a significant accumulation of snow from one storm that never had the feel of a blizzard. For the most part, it was a steady, gently falling snow that persisted over a few days, creating a sense of beauty and wonder all around us.

Yesterday morning, at the height of this persistent storm, we held worship at our church. I was in doubt concerning the possibilities of worshipers coming out in the storm. After all, the authorities were still encouraging people to stay off the roads. On the other hand, in my forty-one years of ministry, I have never canceled worship because of a storm. My response to people who ask has always been, "Since I can get to the church, I will be there for anyone who comes; but use your good judgment and don't take unnecessary risks to get here."

By the time we started worship, I was amazed by the number of hardy, intrepid folks who found their way to the sanctuary and gathered at the Lord's table to rejoice and give thanks. That so many of our church family made worship a priority for this stormy day was a true blessing.

On the news later that day, I saw images of many more people who found their way to ski slopes and sledding sites to enjoy the gift of the newly fallen snow. They were smiling and shouting with glee, frolicking in the miracle of nature, rejoicing in the pleasure that a major snowstorm can bring. Yet none could match the depth of joy that I sense in people of faith for whom prayerful, praise-filled worship is a natural response to what God is continually doing in our lives.

Our choir sang "The snow lay on the ground" as a substitute anthem yesterday, because we thought it a good expression of our faith in the face of this most recent storm. Its chorus says, "Venite adoremus dominum, venite adoremus dominum." O come, let us worship our God. Let us worship God indeed.

A Fresh Start and a Delayed Response

2010-01-01T10:44:00.000-08:00

When I started this blog, I had visions of an ongoing conversation that would stimulate the development of faith and a sense of the holy in our lives. As time went on and it became clear that my original hope was probably not going to materialize in the time frame I had in mind, I became discouraged with the process and the original vision. Without intending to do so or even realizing at the time that I was doing so, I let the blog idea lie dormant. Imagine my thoughts when I realized how long it had been since I posted anything to the blog, and even more that no one had contacted me to say "why are you not posting to your blog?"

So on this first day of 2010, which is not the beginning of a new decade (contrary to popular media) but is instead the last year of the first decade of the 21st century* I find myself faced with a couple of choices. Either I end this effort and concede failure; or I decide to continue on and use it to sort out where my own faith journey is taking me. I'm still musing on that one.

This morning I discovered that someone had posted a comment to my last entry, and I had not seen it. My apologies for not responding to what I believe is a very valid question. As a child of God and a human being, I believe I have been given a potential for discernment, that I am called upon to decide what is right and true and to make distinctions between good and appropriate behavior compared to bad and inappropriate (often evil behavior). So I find myself judging others all the time. The scriptures call us to avoid judging others. So I am faced with a conundrum. As a part of my nature, I necessarily make judgments. As a tenet of my faith, I am constrained from judging.

For me, the resolution has to do with the distinction between judgment as discernment and judgment as condemnation. When I decide that another person's actions are wrong, I am judging their behavior. When I judge that person as wrong, I am condemning a child of God, which is not my right. That leaves me, of course, with the awesome responsibility of monitoring my own thoughts, attitudes and actions toward others; and seeking God's forgiveness for those times when I have stepped over that line.

The ultimate truth in this is that we are all responsible to our Creator for the way in which we have honored or dishonored this gift of life with which we have been blessed. I trust that God's grace is stronger than my human frailty and that, if I let the Spirit guide me, I can continue to grow as a child of God in relation to my brothers and sisters.

God bless us all in everything that lies before us in this new year.

*Okay, so I am a purist, but I still believe decades go from 1 to 10. The year 2000 was actually the end of a ten-year span, at least in our human efforts to sort and number time. 2001 began a new decade and a new century.

Bumper Sticker Faith

2009-09-07T08:37:00.000-07:00

I recently found a website that posts humorous and thought-provoking bumper stickers under the title "Virtual Bumper Stickers." In truth, it's a collection of pithy sayings that could be printed on a bumper sticker or may have been spotted on one. Over the years, I have rarely attached my thoughts to the back of my car, only occasionally expressing my preference for a specific presidential candidate. In the most recent election, I chose to do that. Soon after, I went out to my car (which is housed in an open, rather public location) and discovered that someone had torn a portion of the sticker off. It was, I suppose, an act of dissent, done under cover of darkness and without any possibility of dialogue or discussion.

Of course, that's the point of bumper sticker politics and bumper sticker religion, isn't it? You get to express your opinion for all the world to read without having to engage in conversation about it. It's like declaring, "I have my beliefs, and I don't need you to try to convince me otherwise." James P. Carse, a professor of religion at New York University, has written a book about belief and belief systems. In The Religious Case against Belief, he argues that religion has been tainted by the close-mindedness of absolute belief, which assumes authority and draws boundaries. It's a fascinating and challenging read that calls into question our tendency to lock ourselves into ideologies and defend them by claiming that what we believe is absolute truth.

One of the virtual bumper stickers that I discovered on that website cautions "Don't believe everything you think." I suspect Dr. Carse would second that thought. While it is not a thought I have plastered on my vehicle, I did print it out and tape it to the door of my office. It reminds me that, as a human being who calls himself a child of God, I have been blessed with the gift of thought, and blessed with a curiosity about life that leads to ideas, a lot of them. It also reminds me of the danger of drawing borders around my ideas in the name of belief and daring anyone to question them.

My hope is that, when I make my thoughts and ideas public, those who read and hear them will feel invited to engage in conversation, sharing what they think with me, so that we can all move toward the horizon of truth that draws us ever onward, toward what I trust is the eternal grace of God.

What's the Use?

2009-07-30T10:55:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a long time, we decided not to take summer vacation time this year. (Some might say that there has been little "summer" this year anyway.) Most years we have gone away, if only for a few days, to travel, to camp, to visit family, or to see new places. But this year, we were unable to come up with a plan, so we chose to stay home.

That has meant that I have been around to experience the full sense of summer as a low period in the life of a church. Though there has been an occasional burst of activity, the pace has been slower, the demands fewer. It is true that, for churches in our part of the world, that is usually the case. It just didn't strike me so when I was able to be away from it for a while. So, I chose to get involved in a theatrical production as a change of pace, to feel that I was able to do something productive, to be useful.

When I was a teenager, my father would often express his frustration with my lack of initiative or energy, with my inability to be or to do what he thought was useful. In fact, at one time "Useless" was what he called me as a nickname. That appellation stuck in my mind and often comes out when I do a self-assessment. How have I been useful? Am I ever really of use. What's the use, I would ask myself, of trying since I'm "Useless" after all.

How often we define ourselves and our worth by what we can do. When asked to list our strengths, we most often look at talents, skills, abilities, actions as the assets we offer. There is a need to be able to do or create something that is of value to others in order for us to feel of value to ourselves. That is how we believe we can earn the respect, the admiration, the appreciation, and maybe even the love of others. What can I do for you that will make you like me?

I am reminded of the story of Cain and Abel, where Abel's offering to God was well-received while Cain's was not. Cain's disappointment and frustration turned to bitterness and anger, leading to hostility and violence toward his brother. I want, every time I read that story, to hear the voice of God say to Cain, "I have not rejected you. Your worth is in your being, not in what you can or cannot do." But, of course, Cain never gave God the chance to say that, so he acted in a way that put a barrier between himself and his God.

When I realize that God's love for me does not depend on what I can do for God, then the things that I can do take on a different power. They become offerings of thankfulness and praise, rather than efforts to win approval. God's grace makes me stronger to live more fully and more productively, because I have already known the gift and blessing of God's love. It's no longer a matter of trying harder. Instead it is a matter of offering who I am and what I do as a gift of joy for the gift of life.

I'm still trying to live into that truth. By God's grace I will be made whole!

What Does the Lord Require?

2009-06-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

A comment posted in response to my earlier entry on tithing referred to God's requirement of the tithe for the people of Israel. That was compared to the church's release from the requirement of a tithe under the assumption that Christ's salvation leads us to be free and joyful givers. I had referred earlier to the institutional requirement of tithing, so it seems appropriate to comment on what God truly requires of us. The prophet Micah asked that question in response to the propensity of the people to forget God's call and to seek salvation in ritual offering. His answer was that God requires more than the legal obligation of a tithe. What God requires of us is to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with our God. (Micah 6:8) I believe the implication is that when we are doing those three things, tithing as an obligatory act will be unnecessary, because we are already giving our all to the service of God.

Jesus rebuked the legalists of his day when he said, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint, dill, and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. It is those you ought to have practiced without neglecting the others." (Matthew 23:23) To me, the scriptures are clear. The tithe is an instrument by which we express our commitment to God's will and way. Faithful living in all matters is the truly effective witness we can offer in response to God's grace and mercy toward us.

Firstfruits or Leftovers

2009-06-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

When I started this endeavor, I said that my hope was for people to raise issues and questions for conversation. Those discussion areas can be faith-related, theological, practical church matters, societal concerns, or any matter that causes us to wonder as we seek to find our way as children of God. This week, a posted comment raised several questions about the matter of tithing in our faith life. This is particularly timely for our congregation as we struggle with the very real financial needs of maintaining and growing in our ministry.

Modern Methodists have a complicated relationship with tithing. Other traditions have made a requirement of the tithe for members of their churches, but we have steered away from legalizing the joyous sharing of our abundance with the One who provides that abundance. While it might make things simpler to require that everyone commit ten percent of their income to the church, that is neither the biblical intent nor a particularly effective way to produce the cheerful givers that Scripture tells us are loved by God. So the challenge for us is to learn what a tithe is and how we best live that response to God's bountiful grace.

For now I want to share my basic understanding of the tithe and hope that this will lead to full and rich conversation. At heart, the scriptural tithe is an acknowledgment of a basic truth of our faith - all things come from God and belong to God. When we are blessed with resources, we are called upon to commit the first tenpercent to God's work in the world, returning to God what is God's to begin with - remembering that we are enjoined to offer the firstfruits not the leftovers. In an agrarian society, that prosperity took the form of farm produce. Wheat and grain offerings brought to the temple or synagogue became an expression of trust and obedience. Animal sacrifices also represented a return to God of that with which God had blessed the people.

Over time, the rules for tithing were developed and codified, becoming the foundation of support for the religious institutions of that time. Christians saw the tithe as a way of supporting the church's ministry and mission. As the world moved from an agriculturally producing society to an industrial and financial society, eventually money became the primary sign of our abundance and the tithe became assocated with support for the church's work. For modern Protestants, the tithe became a pledge to the church each year. For Methodists, the tendency is to ask people to consider what portion of their income they can give to the church.

Pledging is not, however, the tithe. I believe that God has a claim to everything we are and have, that we should employ our time, our energy, our talents and skills, our thoughts and ideas, our work and our advocacy, as well as our financial resources to bear witness to God's love and grace. Nor is it limited to what we give to the church's work. Perhaps we should examine our lives to see how we are employing the abundance in our lives to express the love and the justice of God.

This is, for me, only a start to a response to the questions posed. I will return to the specifics in another post, and invite your reflections and reactions to these thoughts. (You can find the questions in a comment posted to my blog entry "Longevity and Trust.") May everything about us and our living give praise to our God.

Longevity and Trust

2009-05-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

Ten days ago the church I serve held a celebration of the fortieth anniversary of my ordination as a Deacon in the United Methodist Church, which also marked the beginning of my Annual Conference membership and my active ministry. In the first two years, I had the opportunity to work in a special ministry on the Delaware coast, serve as a Youth Minister in a suburban congregation, and serve as a student pastor to two churches on a charge in West Virginia while completing my seminary studies. The ensuing thirty-eight years have all been served as a pastor in Troy Annual Conference - ten congregations in seven charges.

If longevity is a sign of success, then I've done pretty well. But I have always said that God calls us to be faithful, not necessarily successful. Survival in ministry for forty years may not in truth represent faithfulness in God's service, but I hope and pray that the overall effect is one of a servant of God struggling to minister in faith and in love. God's grace suggests to me that the desire to serve and the effort to be a faithul minister of the Gospel, however faltering, does indeed please God.

Some would focus on God's judgment; I have put my trust in God's grace. When my trust is strong, I have discovered how good and joyful life can be. Those times, too frequent and too regular, when I give in to doubt and discouragement have proved to be episodes of my weak trust in the grace I so confidently proclaim. When I compare myself to those whom the Church has declared to be saints, I too willingly judge myself a failure. A better model for my life is the man who, when asked if he believed Jesus could heal his son, replied, "I believe; help my unbelief." And so I trust God's grace, even as I pray for the Spirit to increase my faith, no matter how long I go on.

Listening for a Voice

2009-04-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent some time with a reporter who was aking me about my forty years in ordained ministry. She wanted to know how I knew I was called to this work and if I had ever doubted or struggled with the call. They were perceptive questionsand challenged me once again to consider my sense of the nature of God and my belief in God's Spirit giving direction to my life. The truth is that my initial sense of being called to pastoral work was an inner, persistent nagging at my heart and spirit. Unlike others who can claim to have been "struck by lightning" or having heard a distinct voice speak to them, there was no such dramatic experience for me. I was led by an inner desire to commit my life to a work that would matter. Because of the guidance of my church family, my pastor, and a college chaplain, I came to a realization that maybe, just maybe, God was calling me.

It was seventeen years after my ordination as a Deacon in the United Methodist Church that I heard a Voice. The blessing was that this came to me at a time when I was going through one of those regular periods of self-doubt that plague so many of us. In a period of silence following a reading of Jesus's commission to his disciples, I clearly heard that Voice say to me, "Are you listening? This is for you." No matter how we hear it, God can speak to our hearts and our spirits only as we are listening and open to be led. Forty years on, I still wait each day for God to say to me once again, "Are you listening?"

At Home in the Community of Faith

2009-04-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

When I was a child, the church was a place where I was welcomed, accepted, affirmed, and encouraged. I didn't know the inner workings of an institution; I knew only the heart and character of a people of faith. It was in that place that I first learned a sense of community, where I truly felt I belonged. Since then, I have experienced some of the other aspects of that community as I learned that we don't put aside our own character when we enter the church.

We bring everything about us wherever we go, so why should the church be different? What can be different about being a part of the Body of Christ is that it is here where we most consciously commit to learning and growing as disciples, followers of Jesus, children of God. The church ought to remind us of what we can become through the grace of God. When we realize that, here and now, we are God's children, we can open ourselves to what we might ultimately become. It is an amazing journey of trust and hope that we don't need to undertake alone. The true heart and character of a people of faith will always be one that welcomes, accepts, affirms, and encourages. Despite its weaknesses, the community of faith is still my home.

Living the Resurrection

2009-04-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

For thirty-nine years, I've been leading worship and preaching on Easter Sunday. To do that requires a bit of reflection and pondering in my own heart and spirit concerning the accounts at the heart of this celebration. The week between Palm Sunday and Easter that just ended contains some of the most powerful imagery of the Christian tradition, and for me it has always been the heart of my faith journey. To believe and trust in a God who acts in powerful and mysterious ways to overcome the negative forces of life is the foundation of hope. It is the only thing that enables me to let go of fear and anxiety, while living with the realities that confront all of us. Sometimes the rational evidence around us seems to contradict the truth of a compassionate God, which is why it is so important to hold fast to the witness of faith that helps us be strong. It is that trust which enables us to live in ways that affirm rather than deny life. Our gift to the world can be resurrection living, a way of being in the world that refuses to give in to negativity and division while embracing the joyous diversity of God's Creation. Maybe we are called to be the evidence of God's nature in our world. So, the question is: how have I let God's light shine through me today?

Faith & Courage

2009-04-05T13:07:00.000-07:00

This morning in worship I shared the story of this blog's beginnings. In truth it exists, but no one knows where it is. It occured to me that I approach things cautiously, but once I'm in, I'm in. I'm not sure when or where along the journey I began to trust the presence of the Spirit; I only know that it is still an uneven trust. I tried to convey today my sense that courage comes from that trust and is manifested in the ways we represent God's compassion, mercy, grace and justice toward all people. Courage is acting in ways that offer life to others even when our own security is at risk. While I pointed to rescue workers, firefighters and police officers as examples of true courage, some people only heard the reference I made to politicians who are taking unpopular stands on the current debate on Marriage Equality in Vermont. No matter where you stand on that issue, the question at heart is how your actions represent the justice, grace, mercy and compassion of God. The truth is, each of us must answer that question for our own actions. I cannot determine whether someone else is right or wrong; I can only pray that what I do reflects those realities. My faith and my relationship to God must guide me.

Getting Started

2009-04-01T14:06:00.000-07:00

This is the beginning of an experiment in faith. The whole notion of blogging is still a bit unusual for me, but I thought it might be a way to get some conversations started with folks who want to explore the nature of faithful living in our contemporary world. The postings will be random and may very well depend on whether anyone wants to chat. Let me know what you think.