Longevity and Trust

Ten days ago the church I serve held a celebration of the fortieth anniversary of my ordination as a Deacon in the United Methodist Church, which also marked the beginning of my Annual Conference membership and my active ministry. In the first two years, I had the opportunity to work in a special ministry on the Delaware coast, serve as a Youth Minister in a suburban congregation, and serve as a student pastor to two churches on a charge in West Virginia while completing my seminary studies. The ensuing thirty-eight years have all been served as a pastor in Troy Annual Conference - ten congregations in seven charges.

If longevity is a sign of success, then I've done pretty well. But I have always said that God calls us to be faithful, not necessarily successful. Survival in ministry for forty years may not in truth represent faithfulness in God's service, but I hope and pray that the overall effect is one of a servant of God struggling to minister in faith and in love. God's grace suggests to me that the desire to serve and the effort to be a faithul minister of the Gospel, however faltering, does indeed please God.

Some would focus on God's judgment; I have put my trust in God's grace. When my trust is strong, I have discovered how good and joyful life can be. Those times, too frequent and too regular, when I give in to doubt and discouragement have proved to be episodes of my weak trust in the grace I so confidently proclaim. When I compare myself to those whom the Church has declared to be saints, I too willingly judge myself a failure. A better model for my life is the man who, when asked if he believed Jesus could heal his son, replied, "I believe; help my unbelief." And so I trust God's grace, even as I pray for the Spirit to increase my faith, no matter how long I go on.